Thursday, September 18, 2008

I'm READY!! Part II

Although I seem to have some grassroots support for my candidacy, Michael5000 has expressed doubts on how much executive experience I have.

Well, let me assure everyone that I have plenty.

OK, on to the next item on the agenda. As everyone knows, we here in America have been suffering from Gocco supply shortages. We must stop being held hostages to Japan. If necessary, I will not hesitate to launch military action against Japan to secure a continuous flow of Gocco supplies. I won't blink.

In terms of foreign policy, I do know a thing or two about Japan—I mean, Portland has direct flights to Tokyo AND I was once invited to do Gocco demos at PDX to celebrate the inauguration of the direct flights! And further more, I've been to China a couple of times, Japan, Korea, Europe a few times. I've even been to the Middle East! Heck, I was born in a foreign country, that should give me some extra special foreign policy cred. Oh, that little detail about having to be US born to be president, well, I'll make sure that's changed faster than you can blink.

And, at 48, I clearly have 4 more years of essential experiences but still be young enough to NOT have a big fat useless resume. And young enough to be kind of babe-ish, if I keep my hair washed.

Although I've never met any heads of state, I did see the Pope once. Really close, like I was within 10 feet of the Popemobile. And he's kind of like a head of state. Isn't he?

If elected, I won't forget my friends. For starters, Michael5000 can be the Secretary of Quizzes (but only if he shows deference and gives me the Gold Star every time). I'm open to lobbying for all other positions. (Hint, hint.)

So, me thinks I is plenty qualified.


Anonymous said...

Very funny! Only question, is she that BAD?


fingerstothebone said...

She's worse. And she's actually in the position to possibly become the president. In case you haven't seen it, here's a bit from her first interview last week:

INTERVIEWER: What insight into Russian actions, particularly in the last couple of weeks, does the proximity of the state give you?

PALIN: They’re our next door neighbors and you can actually see Russia from land here in Alaska, from an island in Alaska.

That's her insight, apparently. Like I say, I've seen the Pope, from less than 10 feet away. She might as well have said just that; it'd be as relevant as her answer was.

Michael5000 said...

Very impressive.

We should add, don't you have a Grammy or something? For the early heavy metal hit "Smoke on the Water," right? Or am I confusing you with someone else?

Also, let's not forget the legs!

Chicken Hat/Fingerstothebone 2008!!!