Friday, April 11, 2008

Inter-generational, Inter-racial groupings

Michael5000's bus stories reminded me of this little story, from a whole different era, and a whole different cultural setting.

Around 1976-77, I was a high school student living with a white American family (and if you didn't know already, I'm Asian). I don't notice it so much any more, but back then, it was the norm that kids helped with chores like yard work, or they worked for a neighbor for extra pocket money.

So I helped in the yard. Mostly I mowed the lawn, and I also helped my American mom with her gardening. This was in central Jersey, with very few Asian families. In fact, my high school had 3 other Asian kids. Two of them from the same Chinese family, and the 3rd one completely denied that she was Asian at all; instead, she wholly and completely identified only with the cultural and racial identify of her adoptive parents. We were once at a party for AFS students and host families where I overheard a conversation between her and a confused foreign student, who kept on asking Sue what her ethnic background was, and Sue's answer during that entire interrogation was 'Jewish, Jewish, and which part of Jewish don't you understand?!'

But I digress. Anyhow, I was helping my American mom in the yard, when this lady pulled up and asked my mom, pointing at me, "where can I get one of those?"

Not "can I hire her too?" If she misunderstood the relationship. Or "how much does she charge/how much do you pay her?" But "where can I get one of those?"

My American mom was livid. I don't remember being angry; being 16, 17, I probably just thought it was dumb. Our different reactions were perhaps not too different from the reactions of Michael5000 and his niece. I should note that I went everywhere with my American parents, and not once did anyone question the legitimacy of my being with them. Back then, child abduction was probably not on people's radars. I suppose it was both a more AND less innocent time, it just depends on which side of the tracks you were on.

Nowadays, if I seem to be having a marathon day in the garden, the Good Prince will sometimes come out, admire the yard, and tell me that for sure someone's going to ask him where they can get one of those. [Its now Saturday morning, I should add that here, in my own house, my own garden, I was once mistaken for hired garden help. And that wasn't so long ago.]

On other happier (or maybe not, since I seem to have injured myself), I took advantage of our good weather today and got a lot of yard work done. The dandelions are doing just fine, thank you very much. (And I worked on the Portland Open Studios web site too.)

6 comments:

Michael5000 said...

Wow. That's just, wow...

In the context of this story, I think a good answer would have been "oh, they rent them out down at the Synagogue...."

Anonymous said...

I'm shocked that you were mistaken as hired help in your own yard. The number of Asians I saw last time I was there was quite surpising(this is actually not the word I want, but can't come up with one that doesn't have some underlying negative connotation at the moment), and that was like ten years ago?

Shumei

fingerstothebone said...

M5K -- hey, it made you almost speechless!

Shumei -- maybe it was because my garden looks so beautiful and professionally done that he/she (I don't remember) thought I must be a professional? I did think it was kind of odd myself.

gl. said...

buh? astonishing! different than m5k's story, though: the person talked as if you were a commodity and as if you couldn't speak, whereas aak spoke directly to the niece to see if she was okay (albeit in a very clumsy way).

and my dandelions are thriving, too. sigh.

Michael5000 said...

Are you implying that I'm rarely speechless? Because that's like, huh, I don't know....

fingerstothebone said...

M5K -- I'm implying that you're always so quick witted!

gl -- I wasn't within earshot so she couldn't address me and my American mom at the same time. I heard about it from my American mom later. But that was a minor quibble compared with the other...